#12 | The Clumsies, Athens, Greece
Last Visit: May 2023
There is for sure no objective way to rank and judge bars, much less on a worldwide scale. We were happy to discover, that Athens has more to offer than the 'big names'. Our very first stop of this recent tour had to be at 'The Clumsies', by far the most awarded and talked about bar of the city. They have been in the Top 10 of the 'World's 50 Best Bars' for years, currently at 19, it is a tough legacy to carry. Its staff has won multiple competitions.
A huge advantage of the city is the fact that so many places are close to each other and areas of nightlife are stacked with restaurants, pubs and cafés, many of which serve food and drink from the morning until late at night. Life happens outside of store windows, on rooftops and in between that last coffee and first drink. The Clumsies has big open windows and a neon lit hallway leading to its inner courtyard, just airy enough to feel the evening breeze. The interior is utilitarian, the bar organized for efficiency more than for aesthetics. That in itself is an aesthetic too, of course. The whole name and concept is somewhat rooted in informality, the bar tracing its beginnings back to difficult times in contemporary Greece and the relationship between the founders and their regulars.
Drinks can be discovered through the psychedelic menu, which aims to get people's attention more on a visceral level than through ingredients. The theme of 'emotions' again connects back to the entire vibe of the bar. It's also safe to assume that most people visiting already have at least some idea of what they want. A common sight at globally recognized bars. I remember our visit to Employees Only in NYC many years ago, when a group of about 10 people walked in and, without even bothering to get a seat, ordered a round of one of their pre-bottled signatures (it might have been a Margherita twist) and left with excited Yaaays'. Clumsies calls itself a 'high volume' bar, so they, too, have to be ready for such groups to rush in and expect to be served quickly.
Happiness #3:
| Peated Whisky
| Lemon
| Cardamom
| Mint
Found through the QR-codes in the menu, this seemed like a worthwhile experiment, to see if these 'secret drinks' are more interesting than the main offerings. A pleasantly peated Whisky Sour, the fresh mint on top dominates the nose, while the taste has bold cardamom. Something to start the day with, but nothing extraordinary.
X-Tasis:
| Buttered Ron Zacapa 23
| Passion
| Pineapple
| Fermented Milky Oolong Tea
Nice notes of mint, with a strong start of savory buttered rum followed by dark toffee. The passion fruit adds a ripe fruit taste and the tea a slight hint of smoke.
One of the better drinks incorporating tea notes in an elegant, yet obvious way, has a zen quality to it.
But First Coffee:
| Ketel One Vodka
| Coffee
| Jasmin Mead
| Mango
A strong impression of wet, freshly ground coffee right after brewing, possibly through the inclusion of the sharp contrast of the Ketel One. The taste is that of a flowerbed after a spring rain, which is where the fruit, jasmine, and honey come in. A twist on an Espresso Martini, which I as a coffee enthusiast had to try. All the more surprising, considering the immense work that went into the development and creation of this cocktail. Credit, where it is due, the process involves a coffee-infused vodka, a rotovaped wasabi-infused vodka, a honey wine with jasmine tea and Brazilian coffee and a mango wine. All of these are homemade, with very specific instructions on how to handle each ingredient. While it was more powerful than some of the other drinks we tried, it was also suffering from a lack of complexity in flavors.
Bee's Gifts:
| Bulleit Bourbon
| Mead Honey Vinegar
| Hazelnut
| PX Sherry
Funny enough, this is the drink more representative of a range of coffee flavors, than the one with 'coffee' in its name. The wheat-y & rye focused Bourbon sets a broad base for honey, acidity, nutty notes, while the PX brings it together in sweetness, checking similar boxes as one might have when tasting specialty coffee beans.
For all of these drinks, it should be said, that the presentation and glassware was minimal. To our surprise the ice was usually rather small, which, to be honest, does not make a big difference in some of these cocktails anyway, as they feature rather forgiving flavor profiles that don't shift much with or without dilution or temperature. One notable exception was the Bee's Gifts, which was served with low quality ice, that severely diluted the drink.
Service is as straightforward and to the point, as are the interior and set up of the back bar. Not a lot of opportunity to talk, all questions about procedure and ingredients were answered quickly, but briefly. We were hoping, that by coming in early, there would be more space for a conversation and a deep dive into the process. On the menu there is mention of the homemade wines though. Not a lot can be discovered at first glance from the bottles behind the counter, for the most part a Diageo curated landscape. Compare that to the stunning rising wall of Mezcals and Tequilas at, for example, Barro Negro, the idea of The Clumsies seems to lead people's attention more to each other, rather than the bar.
Not enough can be said about the food of the city, and it is showing in every bar. While further up north or east in Europe mostly only hotel bars afford to offer proper food, Athens, and Clumsies as the first example we encountered, have all kinds of meat and non-meat options. We had a delicious set of truffle burgers as well as baked bread with cheese, tomato, and garlic.
The Clumsies also have their own lines of bottled cocktails, with versions of their most popular and well known cocktails, the design reminiscent of a line of home fragrances from one of those massive Spanish clothing brands. Being a 'franchise', a brand with a certain fame to it, it only made sense to expand and open up a second location: The Line, located further southwest in the direction of the harbor. We have been there as well and will publish our thoughts on it as well. One of the main concepts they promote is fermentation in the form of 'wines', which happens either in the Clumsies basement or The Line, or potentially both. It would have been great to feel more of that in the actual drinks and not just as a means of 'prebatching' cocktails for efficiency.
What then are the criteria that led so many institutions to place The Clumsies high on their lists ? A topic in itself we find ourselves back at the beginning of this article, understanding, that different people have different expectations and preferences for bars. In my personal opinion, Clumsies offers a great space for people to meet, right in the middle of a trendy part of Greece's capital, a neighborhood bar with a reasonable quality of ingredients and fair prices. The drinks are never too complicated to be enjoyed by first time visitors or tourists from all over the world and I do believe there might actually be creations on the menu, that would satisfy the busiest of barflies. It is hard though, to discover these, when there is limited time and the staff is not available to assist.
Let us know what your experiences are if you have been to The Clumsies and watch out for our other articles from Athens on the site.
Cheers /jf
